A fun evening in an usual way tonight.
Did an hour of Classical Civilization homework, watched some TV and got into some maths. Yep. Maths. It’s been a while. Maths was my favourite subject in primary school, until I reached Yr 6 and got bored of algebraic equations. Never really enjoyed algebra. I used to figure out how to do sums in high school before the teacher told me how to work it out, and then she’d explain which algebraic equation I had to use to ‘show my working’ and I’d lose my marks for not explaining it right. Oh that drove me insane. I suppose I’ve always liked doing things my own way instead of being told the way to do things!
All the hassle meant I stopped enjoying mathematics in high school. And I didn’t take mathematics at college. But every now and then I’d pull out an empty notepad and jot down some numbers and equations and sums and lose myself in the pages, my hand running faster across the blank sheafs and filling them with numerical data which wasn’t particularly useful but somehow gave me a buzz. Pretty geeky really isn’t it?! (Example photographed above.) Tonight I pulled out one of old notebooks and continued a chain. I love the feel of numbers on my fingertips. Yeah that’s really geeky. Maybe I should stop typing.
Oswald Veblen in 1924 said that mathematics is one of the essential emanations of the human spirit, a thing to be valued in and for itself, like art or poetry.
But I’m not afraid to be different. I’m not afraid to stick out. I do stick out, whether I like it or not! I embrace it. And I hope that by confessing my geeky passion and fascination with numerical data, you can know that whatever you think people around you might find strange is a unique part of who you are. Just be yourself. You don’t need to change anything to make others happy. You’ll find people if you haven’t already who will love you for who you are, and love every inch of you. Friends, boyfriends, girlfriends, family. God.